What Do Fish Say?

Happy Saturday — Up out of the Bunker Joke Vault

WHAT DO FISH SAY WHEN THEY HIT A CONCRETE WALL?
DAMN!

WHAT DO ESKIMOS GET FROM SITTING ON THE ICE TOO LONG?
POLAROIDS

WHAT DO YOU CALL CHEESE THAT ISN’T YOURS?
NACHO CHEESE.

WHAT DO YOU CALL SANTA’S HELPERS?
SUBORDINATE CLAUSES.

WHAT DO YOU CALL FOUR BULLFIGHTERS IN QUICKSAND?
QUATRO SINKO.

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU CROSS A SNOWMAN WITH A VAMPIRE?
FROSTBITE.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN ROAST BEEF AND PEA SOUP?
ANYONE CAN ROAST BEEF.

WHERE DO YOU FIND A DOG WITH NO LEGS?
RIGHT WHERE YOU LEFT HIM.

WHY DO GORILLAS HAVE BIG NOSTRILS?
BECAUSE THEY HAVE BIG FINGERS.

WHY DON’T BLIND PEOPLE LIKE TO SKY DIVE?
BECAUSE IT SCARES THE HELL OUT OF THE DOG.

WHAT KIND OF COFFEE WAS SERVED ON THE TITANIC?
SANKA.

WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HARLEY AND A HOOVER?
THE LOCATION OF THE DIRT BAG.

WHY DOES A PILGRIM’S PANTS ALWAYS FALL DOWN?
BECAUSE THEY WEAR THEIR BELT BUCKLE ON THEIR HAT.

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A BAD GOLFER AND A BAD SKYDIVER?
A BAD GOLFER GOES, WHACK. DAMN!
A BAD SKYDIVER GOES, DAMN. WHACK!

WHAT DO YOU CALL A MAN WITH A CAR ON HIS HEAD?
JACK.

HOW DO YOU CATCH A UNIQUE RABBIT?
UNIQUE UP ON IT.

HOW DO YOU CATCH A TAME RABBIT?
TAME WAY, UNIQUE UP ON IT.

HOW ARE A TEXAS TORNADO AND A TENNESSEE DIVORCE THE SAME?
SOMEBODY’S GONNA LOSE A TRAILER.