It started when Suzie-Q and I agreed (not such a rarity) it was time for new furniture in the Bunker annex – partial man cave partial family room. The old recliner was broken in. Sort of like an old wallet, over time it became comfortably molded to the contours of certain parts of my anatomy. There was also that spot on the arm that I unconsciously but feverishly picked at during the Indians and Cubs World Series. I was back at it again this year as those other teams in the Central Division refuse to fold. If we kept it, I most assuredly would have by now got into the stuffing. Then there was the oversized chair not quite a loveseat not quite a chair. That was our movie night seat, except for the rare occasion when male bodily functions would cause one of us to temporarily relocate. There was a large overstuffed couch sitting in the back of the room. Just sitting and looking at me littered with fancy cushions. They were not like the cushion on the recliner or the ones over in the movie night chair. Those were twisted, scrunched and friendly. It caused me to wonder why we even had a couch. It taunted me. I am just sitting here for you to look at. Do not sit on me. So I didn’t – ever.
I got out the tape measure and negotiations (spit flying, hair on fire, and knock down drag out brawl) began about what to buy and what to throw out. First to go was an old wooden box I picked up from an Army property disposal site many years ago. Its prior home was likely an Army motor pool as the keeper of maintenance records. When I adopted it, it was painted Olive Drab (OD) green. It is solid wood and they don’t make stuff like that anymore. Each drawer was the right size to hold old VHS tapes and DVDs. I cleaned it up down to the bare wood and put a nice natural finish on it. It’s been sitting there for years full of VHS tapes and DVDs that no one will ever watch again. We compromised and the box now resides in the Bunker main. Fortunately Suzie-Q’s collection of crystal, china, Hummels, little porcelain dolls and figurines, etc. is all located upstairs which negated discussion about the future of my multiple Germany tours’ collection of beer steins, beer glasses, and beer coasters that litter the annex.
We settled on the type of furniture and went to visit some showrooms. We ended up with a big ole sectional sofa and a sleek new recliner. We started calling charities and found one willing to pick up our furniture donation on our time line. We scheduled the pick up date for the old and delivery of the new.
Two gentlemen showed up on schedule to pick up the old furniture. These were big men. I mean like a stack of pancakes short of 400 pounds each. It was hot and they were pouring sweat. Adding to that, one of them was wearing some very strong smelling cologne, maybe a half gallon of it. Did you ever wonder why that smell remains in your nose hours later. It is almost like that very stinky deer repellant I use. But there is another part. The furniture guys had to work around the plumber who had to move his truck to accommodate theirs. On the morning of the pickup, I went down to the utility room located just down the hallway from the annex. There above my head, I discovered water seeping through the floorboards. Turns out it was old capped waterlines lines that once fed the washer before we relocated the laundry to the basement. The previous plumbers capped those lines at the top and somewhere in between there and the basement they were leaking. They are now capped near the source. The plumbers and movers managed to keep out of each other’s way. Then Suzie-Q blessed me with the opportunity to vacuum – everything – twice.
The good ole boys delivering the furniture showed up when scheduled. On the way in on the narrow street leading to our cul de sac, they took out some cables with their truck. As apparently no one lost electricity or cable TV, we assumed it was an old telephone landline cable. As they were hauling the furniture in, one of them tossed the very large cushion to the chaise into the room knocking a painting from the wall. Not just any old painting, but one Suzie-Q and I bought in 1975 that has graced a wall in our home since. The frame shattered. She remained calm and offered the boys some water. After everything was placed the way we wanted it the delivery boys left so fast, you’d think the law was after them.
It was a hectic couple of days. It sort of reminded us of an Army moving day and we were glad it was over. With everything done, we decided to call it a night. It was calm and peaceful until a beeping noise woke me up at 0200. There I lay wondering what in my house could be beeping at me at 2 AM. It wasn’t a smoke detector, Co2 detector or natural gas detector because all of those are ear splitting. It wasn’t the alarm because that too is ear splitting in its own special way. The computer back up power supply beeps when the power is off, but the power wasn’t off. I crawled out of the sack and found the source of the beep in the kitchen. Our kitchen range was beeping. Looking at the control panel, I pushed the cancel button. The beeping stopped. After a sigh, I turned to head back to bed and it starting beeping again. This went on until I unplugged it. The repairman said the control panel was shot and parts and labor combined would cost practically as much as a new one. He was right, actually more than right. Because of a sale, we got away cheaper than the repair bill. The moral of the story; if your new fangled kitchen range starts beeping in the night save the repairman’s service call charge and just go buy a new one.
It was just another uncomplicated week at Pendry manor.
© 2017 J. D. Pendry