Republican’ts

The past few months have been enlightening for many Americans.  That is especially true for those of us gullible enough to believe anything coming from the mouths of politicians.  All of us are fallible humans, our priorities not always perfectly aligned with our supposed purpose.  Politicians are not immune to human imperfection.  To get our votes, politicians must be likable.  They must also build for themselves some barrier to breach or enemy to conquer before they can deliver on promises made.  This is how they convince us that our votes count for something.  For without our votes, the barrier standing between promise and deliverance cannot be broken and the straw man enemy standing in the way of progress cannot be vanquished.  The gullible, dutiful soldiers including the man staring back at me from the mirror, head for the ballot box to help them break through the barriers and vanquish those other fallible humans standing in the way of progress.

You told us to give you the House of Representatives and we will deliver.  So we gave it to you.  Promptly, you selected another establishment wonk as Speaker of the House.  Then you showed us that you could deliver by passing a weekly repeal of Obamacare.  But, you said, we cannot overcome the barrier of a Democrat led Senate.  So we gave you the Senate.  Then you told us there was no point in having the Senate take up repeal of Obamacare or anything else because the Democrat President would veto it.  You told us that you needed the Whitehouse and then by gosh you were finally going to get some stuff done.  You would put America back in order.  Life would be good.  So we gave you the Whitehouse.

We picked a new President, which to your chagrin is what we do.  We chose the guy who spoke to us rather than at us promising to do the things we the people wanted.  We gave your party the Whitehouse.  Then we learned what you really meant was that you wanted a Jeb!.  Someone who speaks well, sounds Presidential on cue, and who will toe the establishment line and maintain the Washington status quo.  You wanted an inside the box swamp guy.  Someone who communicates through the stratosphere of elite media and political consultants whose message skips across the country like bouncing radio waves never quite touching down where we sit.

So we delivered for you.  The complete shebang – the whole 9 yards.  You owned Washington baby, all of it.  From the Capitol down Pennsylvania Avenue there were no barriers or enemies left standing.  Good things were bound to happen.  For 8 long years we listened to all the good things you would do for us just as soon as you controlled Washington.  We were pumped about border security, a final fix to our broken immigration system, repeal of Obamacare that would take the long government nose out of our medical care, tax reform, infrastructure, and you name it.

Then we learned something about Republicans.  We discovered there was a hate the President caucus that overlapped the establishment caucus that detested the conservative caucus.  The conservative caucus could not abide them or the moderate caucus.  The moderate caucus in turn could not talk to them or the liberal caucus of your party.  No one wanted to listen to the libertarian caucus and then there was John McCain.

We also learned that as a party, you are not working for the people who delivered you into power.  Something you did better to hide when you were the minority party.  We know whose interests you serve and it is not ours.  It is those rolled up under the umbrella of corporate lobbyists and donors who turn you into wealthy men and women on a civil service salary.

We learned that you are not Republicans but rather Republican’ts.  You can’t fix anything, but next election WE can.  We can drop kick you through the goal posts of life giving you the time you’ve always needed to write your memoirs, get on the speaking circuit and maybe tip a few cocktails with Hillary.  Together you may be able to figure out What Happened.

© 2017 J. D. Pendry