Has anyone seen my car keys?

By J. D. Pendry

Sometimes it’s just good to sit and contemplate.  Like this morning.  I looked out upon my 1.5 acres of hillside and said to myself, ‘Dang, I’m going to have to cut that.”  So, I went back in the house, filled my Sergeant Major cup with black coffee, tried hard to avoid the attention of Household 6, and ended up down in the Bunker – contemplating.  I am a pretty doggoned good contemplator if I must say so myself.  It’s like my Dad used to say, “Now that boy there ain’t afraid of work.  He can lay down and go to sleep right beside of it.”  Dad had a way with words.  His meaning usually quite clear.  He didn’t accept that my contemplating (day dreaming) was thinking about the best way to approach the problem before me.  “Davidson,” Dad would say and I don’t know why he called me that, “it just ain’t that complicated.”  With that observation, he was typically right and that’s the point where the chore at hand replaced the contemplation.

My contemplating mechanism has been working overtime lately.  I’m just curious if it might be those new made from jellyfish memory pills I’ve been taking that’re causing me to overthink things.  Probably not, but as expensive as they are, I figured I at least should be able to remember what I had for breakfast or find my car keys, or see into the future.

What do you think about this Mueller probe?  Now why does that sound like a proctologist’s tool?  There I go again, wandering off.  What was it?  Two years almost with hundreds of pages, millions of documents and who knows how many interviews.  The summary said nothing to see here, yet everyone says lay it all out there.  I agree, lay it all out there.

For all of this time, I’ve been hearing what a square shooter Mueller is from the Democrat side and what a crooked outfit he was running from the Republican side.  Now I’m hearing what a great investigator he is from the Republicans and how terrible he is from the Democrats.  It makes my contemplator ache a little.

If Mr. Mueller did a thorough job as it’s suggested he did, maybe the Democrats really do not want to see the whole report.  Wouldn’t it be a knee slapper if there were criminal referrals in there for the people who actually got this mess started.  Old Clapper is already laying it at Obama’s feet.  Sometimes I just get those feelings.  Maybe Mueller was thorough and truthful and really did examine all sides.  Another expression of Dad’s was, “It’s the kicked dog that barks the loudest.”  Can you say Clapper, Brennan, Comey… . Maybe my contemplator is just pulling up some wishful thinking.  Or maybe it just took the Mueller gang 2 years to destroy evidence and clean up for their deep state compadres.

And what about these caravans of immigrants overwhelming our borders?  You’d think among the plethora of intelligence agencies we have in this country, we should know beyond any reasonable doubt who is organizing them.  That many people cannot move at the pace they’ve been moving without eating, sleeping, medical care… someone has to be paying for that.  Can’t our spooks just find that person or people and drone them or something?  Maybe it’s time to federalize the National Guard and defend our borders until such time as order is restored and our borders secured.

And the worst thing going on right now has me so befuddled I don’t know which hat I should wear.  I have one that’s camo, one that’s white, and a blue one.  Athletes in general and baseball players in particular are superstitious. Don’t get ahead of yourself here, because I’m neither.  Although I did participate in some athletic endeavors when younger, less arthritic, and much more limber.  Baseball and the old man’s version of softball came with it an unusual level of superstition.  During the first game of one softball season, I picked up a couple of pebbles, fooled around with them while contemplating life, then dropped them into the back pocket of my baseball britches.  We won that first game by the 10-run rule, which means the people we played were really bad.  Every game after, I kept those little pebbles in my back pocket.  We won the league championship.  Now I have this other problem.  My Cubs are stinking up the ballpark.  The first game of the season, I put on my camo Cubs cap and they beat the Rangers like they stole something.  I put it on for the next game and the Cubs’ pitchers forgot how to pitch.  So much for that run.  Next game, it was the white hat and they lost.  Next game it was the blue hat and they forgot that a team must also play defense.  So, there’s my dilemma.  I’m out of hats.  Think maybe voodoo will work?  Adam Schiff seems to be doing okay with it.  Has anyone seen my car keys?

© 2019 J. D. Pendry J. D. Pendry’s American Journal, All Rights reserved.

EMAIL J.D. jd@jdpendry.com

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